Shinigami Women's Association, A Bustling Day!
by LateNightWrite
Summary: The association hits up Karakura Town's lingerie store, owned by a familiar face ;
1. Chapter 1

The Shinigami Women's Association is on a revealing new trip to the world of the living!

Downtown Karakura Town, 12:30 pm, Outside Hardly Hentai, the lingerie store.

Rangiku Matsumoto stands outside the store proudly. Both her arms are stretched to the sign above her, showing her pride in bringing her friends to their destination of choice. Well, her destionation of choice.

"Tada!"

Ise Nanao hits Rangiku in the head with her file folder, disgusted with her friend's idea of a field trip.

"Rangiku! What if the president were here? She can't see this kind of profanity!"

"I'm not sure I want to either.."

Hinamori steps out from behind the posy of women all looking skeptically at the store. Her cheeks redden as she looks at the barely dressed manikins in the store's front windows.

"Oh lighten up everyone!"

Youruichi steps to Rangiku's side in support of her big bosom buddy.

"A little bit of sexy's never hurt anyone before, right Unohana?"

The women's association members part like the red sea on either side of Captain Unohana. She smiles sweetly. That same close-eyed cheerful look that scares the hell out of everyone.

"I think our time here will be well spent"

Isane looks at her captain in disbelief. She stutters, trying to form a sentence, let alone a question.

"Captain?-"

Is all she gets in. Rangiku cuts her off.

"Let's get our shopping on, and our clothes off!" 


	2. The Breast Day Ever

"RANGIKU! You can't use kidou in such a public place!"

"Calm DOWN Hinamori, it's only a push up bra!"

Hinamori adjusts her floral tank top. She looks at herself in the mirror once more. Her spirits and chest have risen.

Just then, the vice president sneaks in to take a peek at the cleav increasing miracle.

"Fascinating"

A usually sheepish Nanao pushes up her glasses as she looks at the lieutenant of squad five's enhanced.. assets.

"Are there more of these kidou bras?"

"It's NOT kidou!"

As they roam the store in their fashionably dressed gigais the rest of the women's association struggles to make sense of what they are seeing. Lace, mesh and various animal prints are covering

every square inch of the quaint boutique.

Isane and Kiyone push each other through the aisles.

"Isane, why don't you just try something on!"

"What could POSSIBLY be suitable to wear?"

The two sisters stop in their tracks. A display at the centre of the room catches their eye, and then demands their full attention. A round block holds a tall, slender manikin with what looks like two

helium filled sandbags hanging on its chest. Strecthed over the hard plastic is a white and red nurse's outfit. Two tall white lace socks end at her manufactured thighs. The rest of the outfit you can

picture as being something from the many magazines Captain Kyouraku hides beneath his bed. The sign at the feet of the manikin reads "Heal him then Help yourself"

"It's PERFECT!"

"I'm feeling sick just looking at it"

"Just try it on!"

An unwilling Isane reluctantly goes to the rack where a dozen of the outfits not meant for any real medical professionals are kept. She slides the hangers down one by one, unable to find any in her

size. She sees one near the end that looks like it could just barely fit. The amount of fabric hasn't increased by much, but Isane felt even a quarter inch could keep her from revealing some of Squad

4's most valuable possesions. She was a lieutenant after all, she didn't want to be disrespecting her captain by choosing to put on such a heinous outfit.

"Hey!"

Isane's erotic ensemble doesn't come off the rack as easily as she had hoped.

As Isane tugs harder at the material, not found in the real world or soul society, she realizes someone is grabbing on to the other end.

Captain Unohana stands up straight, her presence giving Isane even more reason to feel sick.

"Captain... I'm sorry.. Here!"

She tugs at the outfit from her side of the rack very fast in order to hand it over to her captain. During this motion, the material becomes caught, ripping in half. It is the last one in the size they both

needed. Unohana's lips begin to curl and her eyes shut into that most terrifying of content expressions.

Isane may be winding up in a hospital after all. As the patient however, not the nurse.


	3. The Cat's Out of the Bag

"This isn't the kind of trash Lady Youruichi needs to be surrounding herself with. She needs to surround herself with her closest allies, the ones that have been there for her since the beginning..The ones that made an oath..the ones that can stare into those golden eyes and feel as if your soul has made a society just for her to inhabit" As the first of many overprotective and homosexual thoughts passed through Soifon's head, she flashstepped between the dozen racks of lingerie.

"Too revealing, too bright, too shiny, too tight, too-"

As Soifon slid a fourth item across the silver rack she was greeted by Lady Youruichi herself.

"-perfect"

Soifon finished her sentence and the mischevious grin on Youruichi's lips grew to its absolute limit. A woman of her age had seen enough lingerie to satisfy a squad of drunken Shunsuis, Shūheis and a whole toystore full of Kons. Besides, usually when her and Kisuke did find alone time for one another there was no use wasting that precious time with layers of clothing. If their designated meeting spot was secluded enough she'd show up with nothing on but her zanpaktou. This usually had Kisuke yearning to strip down to nothing but his zanpaktou, did I mention he left Benihime at home?

Youruichi has had her fill of exposing herself, so she thought why not allow her number one fan to have some of the fun. Nothing screams approval from a superior like that same goddess asking you to try on some sexy piece of lingerie, and Soifon craved approval more than anything. Especially Lady's Youruichi's approval.

Youruichi took out an outfit that she had hidden behind her back. The Squad 2 captain looked at it eccentricaly. The look was more so intended for the woman holding the garment but Soifon tried to camouflage her obsession. Even though the one-sided love affair was known by practically everyone, soul society, real world, probably even Hueco Mundo.I mean, you don't need a soul to make fun of Captain Soifon's blind infatuation. Soifon acted as if she were an on the clock member of the stealth force when she layed her eyes upon Youruichi's dream figure. Trying to conceal her love with obvious non-chillant glances to the side, her fake unintirested stares at the ground, all so pathetic, all so perfectly Soifon.

But let's get on to the nightmare waiting to happen that is Soifon trying on lingerie.

After a few short mumbles and grunts of obvious disagreement she tore the curtain open. Youruichi turned to see the outcome of her prank. The rest of the Women's Association also turned their heads as they heard the echoing sound of a curtain being swung open. Glitter fell from the tacky and brilliant red curtain. It fluttered down over Soifon like some sort of sexy special effects. But the effect Soifon was having on the room was anything but special.

The only thing thicker then the awkward tension in the room was now her black fur covered kitty slippers. The tragedy only began at her ankles, upwards a black velvet pair of short shorts with a a matching cropped tank top fitted her slim chest. A bedazzled tail was revealed when she went to look at herself in the three-way mirror, ignoring the silence that came from the rest of the Women's Association.

She riggled her nose like the animal she was trying to immitate as she re-fitted her furry rhinestone cat ears on to her head. They blended in with her dark black hair except for the fluroscent pink bow which was at the middle of the headband.

Soifon struck her sexiest pose. It was something between your grandfather's back problem and an infant potty training.

"Yorouichi.. is this the look you intended for me?"

Yourichi who had easily coaxed Soifon into trying on the outfit, that she found in the Halloween Red Tag section, was now on the floor crying from laughter.

"Atleast..chh..Atleast...ha..atleast one of us can pull off the look! AHAHAHAHA"

Youruichi clutched her sides from laughing so hard as the tears rolled down her cheeks. She fell onto the ground in a fit of laughter as her biggest fan flash stepped back into her change room.


	4. Curiosity Killed TheKeigo?

"You have to admit Mizuiro.. this plan is going to change our lives"

Keigo Asano and his friend Mizuiro Kojima were walking along the streets of downtown Karakura town. It was a beautiful, sunny day but Keigo had a plan to spend the better part of it indoors in thenew boutique that opened up downtown.

"I hear the manager is a total ladies man, they come in for the lingerie but they leave with him"

"So why would he want to share the profits?"

A distracted Mizuiro gives a quick apprehensive glance to his friend. He immediately returns to texting on his cell phone amazingly managing to walk in time with an ecstatic Keigo.

"We both have an appreciation for the opposite sex"

"You both appreciate sex, well he does. I suppose you're opposites in that sense."

Keigo looks at his friend, a bright light gleaming in his eyes as he turns to face the dreadfully tacky Hardly Hentai.

"I'm unspoiled is all, I've been holding out for the right woman"

"You mean one who doesn't have a webcam feed?"

"Mizuiro we can't all be born with feminine features and a petite stature that somehow women are attracted to!"

"And money"

"What?"

"My wealth can buy them new clothes, meaning they usually discard their old ones"

"Aha! The sugar daddy reveals his secrets of the candy shop!"

"Are we going to go in or just stand out here looking like two teenage perverts?"

"I'll lead the way!"

Keigo opened the left glass door which had been covered from the inside with a thick black curtain, no window shopping for passing pedos. Mizuiro followed him in still concentrated on his phone's flickering screen.

If blood loss killed in anime Keigo would be a corpse. His nose bleed commenced the moment he layed eyes on a bent over Rangiku Matsumoto. She had managed to drop her soul phone somewhere in a box of red-tagged laced goods. She found herself in a compromising position but figured it was only the Women's Association in the store with her, so why not?

Although, she had no problem exposing herself to men. Infact Rangiku found more pride in her abilities to woo the male population than defeating a whole clan of hollows.

"AM I DEAD?"

Keigo's inability to keep his mouth closed in the presence of disproportionate women had all eyes on him.

"A lost soul? In a place like this?"

Nanao was the first to interrogate the intruders of the now not-so secret shopping trip of the Women's Association.

She chimed in from the back of the store and approached them cautiously. She wore a denim jacket with a black tank top and khaki coloured capris. Her hair was pinned and the sheen from the fluorescent lights in the store hid her eyes momentarily. Soon she was directly in front of the two boys, Mizuiro looking up for a second to see how was talking to them, but bowing his head to handle more important matters, like text messages.

Keigo attempted to gain his composure he placed his elbow on a rack of clothing which slid away as soon as he put his weight on it. Hitting the ground chin first, he looked up at a skeptical Nanao who began examining him.

"I don't see a Chain of Fate on him, he must be human"

"Ya sure?"

Rangiku peers over Nanao's head. Keigo looks up helplessly as the two women look him over.

"Maybe it's beneath his clothing or something, turn him over!"

Hinamori is the next on the scene. She squeezes by Nanao and Rangiku and begins to turn him over. As she does so her foot slips and her body falls into Keigo's. The two of them are soon entangled in each other's limbs as they both try to frantically get up.

* * *

Captain Hitsugaya wakes up suddenly from a nap, a dilatory habit he adopted from his lieutenant.

"Momo.."

He sits up on the couch covering his face with his hands, trying to place the protective feeling that has made its way into his heart. After scraping all corners of his drowsy mind he gives up on the matter.

"I'll check up on her when she gets back from- Dammit where did she say she was going?"

He recalled the scene. Him and Momo walked together down the extensive porches of the tenth division's barracks. She walked a step or two behind him as was customary for a captain and subordinate but he found himself slowing his own pace to be side by side with her. She broke their comfortable silence with her plans for the day.

"Rangiku's planned us a trip to the real world"

"A brothel perhaps? She's looking for a job that's more suiting for her than that of a lieutenant"

"No it's something beneficial for us all she said, don't spread it around but rumour is it's a store where they sell.. intimate apparel"

Histugaya's face reddened immediately. He played with the hilt of his zanpaktou, I do mean his actual sword this time, and looked at Hinamori with the rouging still present in his cheeks.

"Isn't there an age requirement for places like that?"

Momo hit him about as hard as she could without getting a demotion for injuring a captain and stormed away.

Hitsugaya slid his hand under his Shihakushō and rubbed the spot where Momo had punched him. He felt the erratic beating of his heart and laid back down. With one arm bent to support his neck he stared at the rotating ceiling fan.

_Momo in lingerie_

The protective feeling was now placed.


	5. Ambitious Decisions & Drunken Ambitions

"Lieutenant Hinamori!"

Nanao rushes to aid the lieutenant get up off the floor. With cheeks hotter than a fireball from Tobiume Momo manages to find her footing and stand up straight. She tries to act casual as she fixes her hair and straightens out her tank top returning its straps to their original position. She breathes deeply and collapses her shoulders into a more relaxed composure. She does this surprisingly well for someone who's just dry humped a stranger.

"There was no chain of fate, he is most.. most certainly human"

Mizuiro grins and his boyish good looks leave him as unassuming as ever. The three soul reapers investigating Keigo look to him next. He continues to look down upon his friend his eyes creasing as he smiles at the level of embarrassment only achievable by an Asano.

"I'm sorry. Unfortunately my friend's knees are the only things that go limp when he finds himself in the presence of beautiful ladies such as yourselves"

An awkward pause takes its time to pass as the women evaluate his comment. Hinamori still embarrased and Nanao still chastised means a response is left up to Rangiku, the one most likely to detect the sexual reference.

"Oh, I like you!"

Rangiku squeals at his flawless techniques in the valued art of flirtation. A skill that is known, used and appreciated by Squad Ten's most recognized flirt.

Captain Unohana approaches Keigo who still has not managed to get up off the ground. In a position as awkward as this one his placement, be it on the floor or standing next to his smooth talking friend, was irrelevant.

"Is everything all right here?"

Her frosty smile makes its way through the small group of Women's Association members and humans alike. A feeling of uneasiness passes through each individual's stomach, like getting caught in the midst of the dirty deed by your grandmother, er mother. I don't wish to disclose Captain Unohana's age, for reasons pertaining to the continuation of my life.

"Well actually, my friend and I came here to meet the owner of the store, you have an air of responsibility to you, have you seen him since your arrival here?"

Mizuiro has miraculously pocketed his cell phone and given Captain Unohana and the others his undivided attention. Realizing their cover, assuming they had one to begin with, had been blown by a clumsy and hormonal Keigo, the ladies boy has no choice but to take matters into his own hands. Better they be in his hands than the hands of Keigo where matters would most certainly be violated in some way.

"I'd like well to meet the owner of this shop!"

Youruichi casually walks up behind Captain Unohana to see what all the commotion was about. Always the fan of a scene whether she is the cause of it or not.

"Betcha he's a perv, maybe he'll give discounts if we model the merchandise for him?"

"You think the discount goes up with the more you show?"

As Rangiku and Youruichi discuss ways to show themselves off for beneficial and monetary purposes, Hinamori, Nanao and Unohana stand by to interrogate their uninvited guests. Nanao spoke with professionalism and added a tone of authoritativeness to her voice. As the vice president it was her job to sort this out.

"This is a private shopping trip, and seeing as you have an air of respectability to you, would you mind departing this store with your friend and what's left of his dignity?"

"Certainly, we can come back another day-"

Like an adrenaline shot to the heart, Mizuiro's words of farewell have Keigo bounding off the ground to cover his friend's mouth with the playful slap of his hand.

"We are actually employees, just starting our shifts for the afternoon"

Mizuiro looks incredulously at his friend, unsure of how he was going to pull this one off. But it was always more amusing to let Keigo dig his own grave than pick up the shovel yourself.

* * *

His throat and eyes stung with the pain of salt in an open wound. He felt around his bedside table for his soul phone. A worn hand danced around the wooden surface trying to locate the missing item.

A sudden image of him sticking his soul phone into the bosom of the bartender that had been serving him all night crossed his mind. She had been hot, a definite candidate for a one night stand. However, he was alone in his bed, a feeling that didn't do much for the Captain of Squad 8.

Shunsui looked under the covers to examine his body, he wasn't sure of the state he would find it in. He was completely clothed, and at the sight of this, a bit disappointed.

"Why didn't I bring her home?"

Immediately his subconscious provided him with an answer of another murky event from last night.

Shunsui lay down across the pile of pillows he had assembled together to create a make-shift bed. Three bottles of sake sat upright on the table. The fourth lay on its side, the small amount that hadn't been consumed slowly pooled at the opening of the bottle.

He had a room to himself in the back of the bar. Renji had been with him earlier but left due to a sudden summons from his captain. Captain Kyouraku was all alone now summoning for another bottle of sake, which he certaintly would not get. He had a case of whisky hand, which benefitted the captain.

1. It was better to have it there than a body part he could really use tonight

2. It meant that if he did receive any pleasure, it wouldn't be from himself

His sloppy signal caught the eye of a young waitress. She was all too familiar with Captain Kyouraku's drunken nights of intoxication beyond the point of remembrance. He never remembered her, Ayame Chiyo was her name, although she was the one of the few people in the whole establishment willing to serve him until his night was through.

Ayame was wearing a black dress that ended at her knee and her legs seemed to grow longer as she approached the table. She had a blue sash tied around her waist and her hair was in a ponytail tied with a ribbon of the same colour. She was an attractive woman, definitely the kind that would be able to catch even the drunk, shortened attention span of Captain Kyouraku.

"Can I help you with something sir, get you anything?"

"LITTLE!"

"A little.. what? I'm sorry captain I don't follow"

"Follow! Yes mam! I should have followed little"

"Little who?"

"Nanao! Sweet, little Nanao, although lately she's been lookin like she's hidin my bottles of sake in her shirt! And there's nothin little about _my_ bottles of sake!"

"I see, where is Miss Nanao?"

"She.. sniff.. she and all tha women, hot hot women are going sexy shoppin without meh!"

Shunsui became saddened at the thought that a completely inappropriate trip to the world of the living was going on without him. Last month he was declined entrance to the Men's Association because of his recommendation to visit a strip club, or as he sees it, Hōzukimaru as it was meant to be used.

"Why didn't you accompany them?"

"I don't gotta go shoppin for sexy, I got it, I got it right .. right.. HERE!"

Like some sort of homage to the Hulk Shunsui ripped back his Shihakushō exposing his hairy but built chest. Ayame continued trying to converse with him, although she wasn't sure how much good it was doing.

"I'm sorry to hear that captain"

"You know, you know who ain't! Nanao, she probably happy dancin and all four eyes are dissaprovin everythin and everyone! She too good for all them, but not too good for this ol man!"

"I'm sure she's buying something for you"

"You are right! You are so right, I mean I was gonna ask ya to come home with me for a night of Captain level pleasure, I'm talkin Bankai all night long! But Nanao, I have to save myself for Nanao!"

"Well I'm going to call captain Ukitake sir, he will gladly come and pick you up I'm sure"

"I dun wanna spend tha night with Ukitake! Jus between me and you? Shini..Shin..SHINIGAMI! The shins think we got something goin on, I wear pink , that should prove to all em I'm a man and not a man's man I'm a woman's man, could be your man but I'm Nanao's man, she loves my little man.. no wait I-!"

"I understand you perfectly captain, now why don't you rest while I go contact _someone_ to bring you home?"

Captain Kyouraku fell onto his back in a fit of sobbing laughter, pitying himself seemed like the most feasible option at the moment. The waitress walked over to the bartender accessing the captain's soul phone and called Ukitake. She left the pile of drunken man flesh to his worries of his sword not being able to satisfy his lieutenant's sheath.

Shortly after the call was made Shunsui was fast asleep, turning his make-shift bed into a real one. It took Ukitake and two members of Squad 13 to carry home the passed out captain.

Shunsui ran his hand from the top of his head down to the end of his ponytail. He grabbed his hat and put it on. He smiled thinking about the idea of Nanao arriving home later today. The very idea had him so filled of joy he had to stand up. Momentarily. A hangover was aptly named, you needed to hang over the closest piece of furniture until the rest of the room straightened itself out. He laid face down on his bed, his feet in sandals swaying over the edge. He pulled out his soul phone feeling it in the pocket of his kimono.

"Captain, I will return to finish the paperwork you haven't noticed till my mentioning it now when I return, do try and accomplish something today other than staying sober or awake – Lieutenant Ise Nanao"

Shunsui closed his phone after reading the message and slid it back into his pocket. He chuckled to himself, his deep, hoarse voice traveling loudly through the still summer air.

"Bet my girl's calling the shots, now if I can coerce her to drink as many as she's calling, we can at least get to Shikai tonight"


	6. Owning Your Dignity, or Losing it

"What in the hell is going on out here?"

A tall, shady looking man comes out from the back room of Hardly Hentai. He puts his finger to his lips tapping it in a melodic rhythm to the soft porno music playing in the background. He's wearing a red and blue baseball cap, black denim jeans and a t-shirt shamefully advertising his store.

Nanao turns around still trying to take control of the situation. Keigo looks at the man stunned; this is not what he needed. As his eyes lock on the store owner Keigo winces in confusion, the man actually looks familiar to him. Probably from some 11 o'clock news program profiling Karakura Town's Most Wanted.

"These two claim to be employees of your store, is this true?"

The shady looking man lifts his hat scratching his shining black hair. He has a mullet living up to his expectations of sketchiness. He looks them over, his hand stroking his chin mulling over whether he's going to pretend he knows them or not.

Unexpectedly, he doesn't have to pretend.

"Yes, Keigo's my lead man on the floor and this place's taxes stay in line only cause of Mizuiro"

At this point most of the Women's Association members have congregated beside the two high school boys. Rangiku and Youruichi have momentarily disappeared. Keigo looking relieved covertly wipes the beads of sweat that have formed on his brow.

"Now, it's not every day we get such lovely customers, so I can see why these boys might be unable to handle themselves, however I am a man. And no amount of-"

Before he could finish his proclamation of manhood Rangiku and Youruichi came out from hiding, hiding nothing at all. In what looked like three carefully placed stickers and two packs of dental floss the two women showed off everything they had to offer.

"Wh-what are you two doing?"

Nanao swung at them both wildly with her clipboard. Missing them both clearly as they _flash_stepped out of the way, she fell face first onto the ground behind them. Captain Unohana's usual sly grin grew into a full-fledged smile as she looked at the arts & crafts project for adulterers.

"Oh Youruichi, where did you find those outfits?"

"C-captain, you cannot be serious!"

Isane fainted into her sister's arms. Kiyone nearly fell onto her back due to their size difference. She set her down on the leopard print chaise lounge in the back near the change rooms. She began waving a leather miniskirt to cool her down and the small draft it made blew her silver braid to and fro.

Nanao laid face down attempting to get up for round two with two souls reaping all the benefits of their busts and bodies.

"Lemme help you"

Hinamori and Keigo bend over in unison to help Nanao up, each grabbing an opposite arm they help her up onto her feet. Keigo was a lot like his Ichigo in a sense. Even when he was fighting a losing battle, in his case flirting with women, he still found the strength to continue.

"We worked together better that time"

"Yeah"

Momo blushes timidly and smiles at Keigo, the awkwardness would be over between them. For the next four seconds. Keigo returns the smile and goes for a high five, which Hinamori was not expecting. Turning late to respond to his gesture their hands miss. His hand colliding with her right breast.

* * *

"C-captain Hitsugaya?"

"WHAT?"

"S-sorry sir, it-it's just you're r-releasing a- a lot of your spiritual pressure and, you.. you've frozen the whole right side of the dining hall."

Captain Hitsugaya looked in the subordinate's direction he grabbed his glass of water to drink from it. It was completely frozen solid.

"If you'll excuse me"

The Captain stormed out of Squad Ten's dining hall failing to suppress his spiritual pressure. His men wailed in discontent as the left side of the place formed the second half of Hitsugaya's ice castle of pissed off jealousy.

* * *

"I am I am , SO sorry!"

Nanao now had an easier target for her clipboard. She preferred it over her zanpaktou. Its multipurpose functionality meant it was at her side more than anyone or anything. Poor, poor Captain Kyouraku.

One hard hit to the head had Keigo down on the ground.

"Well now look what you've done Mr. Asano"

Mizuiro stepped over his friend's body so he could attend to Isane.

"Is she going to be alright?"

"I think so, she just gets so worked up over Captain Unohana's decisions sometimes"

"Well maybe we can take her outside for some fresh air?"

"Good idea!"

Kiyone and Mizuiro put Isane's arms around each one of their shoulders. Unnoticed, they take her outside to the fresh and warm air of a summer day in Karakura Town.

"So Mr. Owner, how does this look?"

Rangiku stretched out her arms and legs striking a pose worthy enough to be placed beside the word "sexy" in the dictionary. Youruichi did the same, the two of them stood side by side like a salt and pepper shaker straight from an assembly of every wet dream in the history of teenage boydom.

A camera flash came from the change room. But both women were too focused on their current target.

The owner's face was red enough to pass for a stop sign, but he certainly wanted things to keep going.

"I.. I see you found our most..*gulp*.. provocative items, I didn't think those were even out on display anymore.. complaints of degrading women"

"Well, I for one don't feel mortified.. what about you Rangiku?"

"I'm a bit cold, hopefully it won't show, _stiffness_ is so unattractive"

"It's _hard_ to get rid of too"

"Well, let's_ knock on_ _wood_ and hope it doesn't happen"

A tightening. A sudden tightening in the store owner's already too tight jeans. His eyes couldn't find a safe spot to land on Rangiku and Youruici's exposed bodies. His mind raced as he tried to undo what had been done.

_Grandma, Grandma in a bikini, Grandma naked, Grandma-_

_SHIT these women are old enough to be my grandmothers, why did today have to be the day that the Soul Reapers show up?_

"If you'll excuse me ladies"

The store owner raced back into his office which was little bigger than three washroom stalls. He switched the sign hanging on the inside of the door behind the glass to "Occupied" and shut the blinds. Although, the Women's Association wasn't going anywhere, especially not before their final member arrived.

* * *

"I'm sure Rukia and Kiyone will have a fun time on their trip to the world of the living, don't you Lieutenant Abarai?"

"Are they visiting Ichigo?"

"No, the rumour is, and keep in mind it's only a rumour, that they are visiting a lingerie store"

"Rukia.. Rukia Kuchiki is going lingerie shopping, WITH ICHIGO.. Ichigo Kurosaki?"

"Well, I don't imagine the substitute soul reaper would accompany them, but it is located in the down town strip of Karakura Town, he might just tag along"

A glassy look passed over Renji's eyes.

"Lieutenant Abarai?"

A montage. A montage of bright coloured images swarmed into his head. There was Rukia dressing up in all kinds of inappropriate clothing, and with who? Not the guy she's known since her childhood, not her longtime classmate from the soul reaper academy, not even the one who learned Bankai just so he could defeat her brother. Attempt counts for something after all. No, it would be the ginger Casanova, taking Rukia by the hand and escorting her into some candlelight room, with rose petals, and music and..

"My, my someone is looking awfully troubled"

Captain Ukitake and Renji sat on a bench beneath a monstrous willow tree. Its streamer-like branches fluttered in the light soothing breeze, the scene was calm. The mood was escalating. The two had been discussing unimportant matters but now Captain Ukitake felt as though he made a mistake somewhere along the way.

"Have I said something to upset you, Lieutenant?"

"I'll kill him"

"Now there's no need to get hostile, it was only a rumour, a-"

"Disgrace! An Outrage! How can the Thirteen Court Guard Squads stand for a complete humiliation of their supposed _honourable_ members? "

Renji was on his feet, he was pacing, he was furious. He was thinking of a plan to retrieve Rukia, without making himself seem too overprotective of course. But how? How could he pull it off?

"Haha, why Lieutenant if I didn't know any better I'd think I was talking to your Captain"

**Bingo.**


End file.
